One step at a time

when your mind seems to weigh you down

Dealing with depression isn’t easy. Having to constantly wake up every morning and put on the mask with a smile is even harder when you didn’t even want to leave bed in the first place. The struggle of life is different when it comes to everyone. Something that may seem unbearable to one person can be a cake walk to another which is why telling people how you feel is sometimes not even an option.

Losing a loved one was like the trigger being pulled. I was already a very emotional person, but after that I just became trapped within my own mind. Constantly crying myself to sleep silently so as not to disturb anyone, Constantly drinking and so on just to numb whatever i was feeling and i know it scared my siblings.

Not being able to receive proper help and having to deal with it on your own doesn’t work for everyone. For me it made it worse every single day. The more pent up I was the easier it was for me to fall into that blackened cloud state of being.

How I am dealing:

  • Sticking to my goals:
    By keeping my mind focused mainly on my objectives in life and where I want to be in a few years, and who I want to be in a few years. I tend to not think to much on the “is it worth it to even keep going?” mindset i sometimes put myself in.
  • Meditation:
    Quieting down my mind by calming all thoughts and actions puts me into a state of tranquility. Helps me to focus on whatever at that moment seems to be the biggest thing weighing me down so that I can try to find a solution.
  • Talking to my Mother (in Heaven):
    I find that laying down and having a conversation as if she was next to me sometimes helps ease the grip around my heart
  • Being social and finding an outlet:
    This is the last one. Ive only recently started to do this within this year because i noticed that if i was alone with my thoughts for too long that it wasn’t good. So I go out TUES,FRI,SAT,SUN. Tuesdays and sundays I relax with friends while listening to live music. Fridays i Karaoke and sing my heart out to emotional songs that help me to let go of anger and frustration and sadness. Saturdays I dance in the middle of the dance floor letting myself go and feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders if only for a song or two.

Now this isnt a home remedy cure all for it but it helps. I still struggle every day but it helps

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The beginning

Javicko King – Noche De Pasion (Video Oficial)